


World Of Colour

by Higgies230



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, F/M, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Mickey Milkovich, M/M, Sad Ian Gallagher, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2019-10-27 17:59:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 18,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17771567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Higgies230/pseuds/Higgies230
Summary: A Gallavich soulmate AU where everything is black and white before their eyes meet. Yes that again but my version. A more understanding Ian and Mickey opens up sooner.How had Mickey Milkovich never actually looked at him before? They had grown up together in the same neighbourhood, hell Ian had been friends with his sister for months now and yet their eyes had never met before. Okay, it was probably because Mickey never looked directly at people. No one. If he thought about it, it had always been that way. He was probably scared. Did he know that his soulmate would be a boy? Probably. That would explain it.





	1. Time Will Tell

  How had Mickey Milkovich never actually _looked_ at him before? They had grown up together in the same neighbourhood, hell Ian had been friends with his sister for months now and yet their eyes had never met before. Okay, it was probably because Mickey never looked directly at people. No one. If he thought about it, it had always been that way. He was probably scared. Did he know that his soulmate would be a boy? Probably. That would explain it.

  Mickey was currently straddling his chest, tire iron raised high above his head ready to beat Ian’s skull in. The redhead had hoped that maybe his plan to get the gun back would work but overall he hadn’t been too hopeful though out of everything he had never thought that _this_ would happen.

  Sure, Ian had admired the youngest Milkovich son from afar for the last few months that he had been friends with Mandy. He could appreciate the fact that the guy would be undoubtedly hot beneath the layer of dirt that always coated his skin. The fact that Mickey Milkovich was his soulmate of all things wasn’t something that he had ever thought would happen though because in what world was this Milkovich thug gay?

  The moment that their eyes connected, the world burst into sudden colour. Before, it had only been black and white, shades of grey making up their world, but now it was… beautiful.

  It made both boys pause, both of them panting and just staring at each other. Then, Mickey’s arm was lowered and they were tearing at each other’s clothes. The sex was just the best, Ian knew that people said soulmate sex was the best you would ever get but he hadn’t believed that fully, even as a romantic.

  They collapsed down onto the bed, Mickey hastily pulling the covers up over them as the door opened. In stumbled non other than Terry Milkovich, notorious homophobe and the man that everyone in the neighbourhood knew not to fuck with. Ian saw his life flash before him but the man just stumbled through into the bathroom without even looking at them. The redhead looked at Mickey though, his soulmate, and the other looked back. There was a moment of connection that warmed Ian before it was broken as Terry flushed and stumbled back through.

  “Put some clothes on, you two look like a pair of fags.”

  How the fuck did they get away with that? They exchanged another look before scrambling up, suddenly taken with the fact that their luck couldn’t last.

  As soon as Ian had pulled on his clothes, he had gone in for a kiss, suddenly overtaken with the urge to taste the other’s lips. With colour, Mickey was even hotter to Ian than ever, the older teen had just given him the best sex ever but they hadn’t kissed.

  “Kiss me and I’ll cut your fucking tongue out,” the thug grunted, turning away as if nothing had just happened.

  For a moment Ian just stared at the retreating teen, at his soulmate, before coming to his senses and fleeing the house. He stumbled out but then stopped. Colour. It was everywhere. They told them some colours in school, they knew that the sky was blue, the grass green and the dirt was brown and now, for the first time, Ian saw it.

  He looked up at the sky and took in _blue_. Blue was the colour of Mickey’s eyes, slightly darker than the sky was right now but it was blue. It was beautiful and he knew that it would forever be his favourite colour even if Mickey never let Ian near him again. The thought had him gritting his teeth and chocking down a sob because Mickey had just dismissed him, them, like nothing at all had happened.

  Deciding that in this moment he couldn’t do anything about it, Ian shoved his hands in his pockets and started to make his way home, unable to take his eyes off of everything around him. It was wonderful, he had heard of three basic colours, knew that others such as red, yellow and purple existed but he didn’t know about the shades of colours. Green had been a single colour but not anymore.

  He stopped at a low hanging branch, pulling it towards him and running his fingers over the leaves. Every single one was slightly different. Then there was the sunlight, the sunlight was… he didn’t know, but it changed the colours again. It was just so wonderful.

  The walk home took a ridiculous amount of time but he was too busy exploring this new world. The redhead finally reached the chain link fence of his home- which was still grey, though more shiny- and the house was blue, the door and steps brown like the dirt and tree trunks. It was as he gripped the metal of the gate that the wonder fell away and the memory of Mickey just walking away came to him.

  No one would suspect Mickey Milkovich of being gay, especially a bottom which was what he had been today. It was reasonable that he hid it so well with Terry as his father and it got Ian thinking, should he say anything? He and Lip shared everything, he would have loved to tell him about this, his soulmate, but he couldn’t. Having hidden his sexuality from his brother for years, Ian was sure that he could hide this, not like there was anything physical like gay porn to give him away.

 Taking a deep breath, Ian opened the gate and jogged up the steps, pushing into the house and the chaos. How on Earth was he going to be normal? Fiona saw colour ever since she had first met Steve’s gaze and she was always doing things and making little comments on colour now. What if he slipped up? He couldn’t. He couldn’t just out Mickey when he didn’t even know what was going on with them.

  He guessed that only time would tell.


	2. Book of Colours

    It was strange, completely alien, to see these colours. He had sidled into the house and suffered through dinner where all of his family were sat there in colour, Ian finally able to see some of the things that people had always mentioned but could never before see. For instance, he knew that Debbie and he was “ginger” but he had never known what that was other than it wasn’t as common as other colours and people would often make jokes about it. Now he saw the colour and it was different from the others’ but Ian liked it, wondered what his hair would be like.

  As it turned out, when he was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, his hair was a lot brighter than his sister. His skin was pale and his eyes were green like some of the leaves but different again. He wondered if looking at Ian in colour had put Mickey off. From what he had heard, gingers weren’t beautiful or anything and looking in the mirror now seeing how much more his freckles stood out against the skin now that there was colour and how much paler he seemed.

  It was frustrating though, he realised. He could identify some colours based on what he had been told before but he couldn’t tell others, like he knew that red existed but he didn’t know what it looked like. There was a book in Fiona’s room that she had brought when she had first gotten colour, he could slip it out, she didn’t use it anymore, had months of experience now.

  The decision only took a split second and then he was there, slipping into her room and spotting the book in amongst the small collection that she had. With the book in his hand, Ian looked around cautiously before quickly making it back to his room and plopping down on the bed.

  The redhead held the book reverently, smoothing over the cover which was a rainbow and proclaimed the title as “The Book of Colours for Soulmates”. When Fiona had first brought the book, Ian had been so jealous, he had looked on at the then grey “colours” that the pages displayed, feeling empty with the longing for his own soulmate.

  In some ways it was worse now because he looked down and saw the collection of seemingly impossible numbers of colours but really he didn’t know if he actually had a soulmate. He had no idea if Mickey would want anything to do with him, from what he had learnt from his friendship with Mandy, her older brother was very reclusive, he hated being around people except it seemed when he was high or drunk. And he had always looked at Ian- but never making eye contact mind you- with such disgust and distain.

  Ian clenched his jaw and brutally rubbed at his eyes to stop the tears that were forming. There was no point in crying over someone that he didn’t even really know. Just because they were meant to be together as said by some stupid chemical reaction… it was stupid. Ian had always been a romantic when it came to soulmates but now he wasn’t so sure that it was something to be pleased about.

  Sure, Fiona and Steve were happy but it had only been a couple of months, normal relationships had lasted happily for a lot longer than that. Then, there was Monica and Frank. They were soulmates. They were actual living examples of one of the most fucked up relationships ever and yet they saw colour the moment their eyes first met. The only reason that Monica showed up every now and then is because the soulmate bond would cause physical pain if the pairs spent too long apart.

  So fuck Mickey. He could see the other teen when he visited Mandy to stop the pain, he had colour now and so his world would be brighter.

  Lonelier.

  No, he’d be fine.

  Sniffing and rubbing his eyes for the last time, Ian pulled the book closer on his lap, opening it up and beginning to parous the pages. His fingers stroked over the blocks of colours and the captions that went with them. He looked around his room, matching the colours to items there. It was when he got to the pages with red and oranges that he finally put a name to his hair colour and smiled.

  He was a good way through the book, smiling and thoroughly enjoying the new joy of exploring it, when Lip entered. His heart skipped a beat and he resolutely kept his eyes on the page even as he felt his brother’s eyes on him.

  Finally, he looked up to see his brother stood there with eyebrow raised, glancing pointedly at the book. This was the point that Ian could tell Lip about his soulmate, could see that his brother had blond hair and blue eyes, that the shirt he was wearing was a red-brown. But he couldn’t do that, not when he didn’t know what the fuck was going on.

  “I’m bored and trying to see if I can identify colours of things based on the shades,” Ian lied, one that he had formulated in his mind when he had first opened the book. There was no privacy in this house and someone was bound to walk in.

  “Really?” Lip asked sceptically.

  “Yeah, what, you think I’ve actually found my soulmate?” Ian snorted.

  “Fair. So is it working?” Lip asked, dropping the soulmate thing.

  “Fuck no but I’m gonna try,” Ian chuckled, looking back down at the book as his heart pounded against his chest.

  “Okay, well I’m going to meet up with Karen so see you later,” Lip dismissed, grabbing his jacket and clapping Ian on the back before leaving the room.

  As soon as the door closed again, Ian flopped back down on his bed and breathed out in relief. His brother normally wouldn’t be so easy to fool but for the very first time Ian was glad for Karen Jackson. Who would have thought.


	3. Anger

  Ian had been dreaming of his soulmate, wishing after him to an embarrassing extent. He knew by now that nothing was going to happen, it had been a week and he hadn’t seen Mickey at all- nothing even when he was hanging out with Mandy at the Milkovich house. Of course, it didn’t take a genius to work out that Mickey was purposefully avoiding him.

  The whole matter of colour was still something brilliant though. It was been over two weeks now and the thrill hadn’t even faded yet. He still went out everyday and admired everything, in awe of everything. The greens, blues, reds, oranges and more. He had studied Fiona’s book until he could name every colour in his bedroom, keeping it for three days and studying every day before slipping it back into Fiona’s room.

  He wanted so bad to tell someone about it, just rant about how amazing it all was except he couldn’t. Really he didn’t know why he was so set on keeping this secret for a boy that didn’t even want him but the very thought of spreading their relationship made him cringe. He felt an innate need to protect Mickey against whatever repercussions may come from their secret.

  There was however a first time for everything, even for something like spilling their secret. This first time came when Ian was at work with Kash. They hadn’t had sex in the two weeks since Ian had found colour, not because Ian had been trying to avoid it but more because he hadn’t initiated it and it just hadn’t happened. However, today it seemed Kash was extra horny and couldn’t wait to get into Ian’s pants.

  He had had no problem with fucking Kash before- sure he wasn’t really that attracted to Kash but more the forbidden antic of sleeping with his married boss. Today however, when Kash stroked a gentle hand over his jaw it made his skin crawl. Ian flinched and turned away, gritting his teeth before finally getting a sentence strung together.

  “No Kash, I can’t do this anymore,” he said, not looking at the other man. He didn’t care what Kash was feeling, whether he was hurt or not. Kash should have been faithful to Linda and Ian should never had enabled his cheating.

  “Why not?” Kash asked and he sounded hurt. He shouldn’t. He fucking shouldn’t be hurt. Filthy man should not be hurt that a fifteen year old boy doesn’t want to sleep with him anymore.

  “There shouldn’t be a fucking reason Kash,” Ian practically spat, turning to the man finally, “I mean there could be a few I should list that normally would have stopped us before the first time. The fact that you’re my boss maybe, perhaps that you’re married and have two kids that are my siblings’ age. Oh I know, how about the fact that you are in your thirties and I am fifteen and everything that we do is statutory rape?”

  Kash just gaped at him before retreating. The rest of Ian’s shift he just acted like a kicked puppy but all that did was make Ian even more angry.

  By the time that his shift ended, Ian was angry at everything. He was angry at Kash and at Mickey. He was angry at Lip for not paying enough attention to him to see through his lies and angry at Fiona for the same. He was even angry at the damn colours for the evidence of his meeting his soulmate despite his soulmate hating him.

  His anger made it so he stormed out of the store and down the street, not focusing on anything that wasn’t his battle to keep from crying. It was dark, night having come as they did inventory and there weren’t people about anyway so he didn’t have to really concentrate. That was why he walked head first into someone. Someone who grabbed onto his arms to keep him from falling backwards.

  Ian looked up then, an apology on the tip of his tongue where it died as he realised that he was looking at Mickey. Mickey was right there, looking back at him with his hands still on Ian’s arms. The light from a streetlamp shone down to illuminate his features and he looked so beautiful. But no, Ian was supposed to be angry. Angry that Mickey didn’t want him, that Mickey didn’t think he was worth it.

  He considered pulling his arm out of Mickey’s grip but then… reconsidered. If Mickey was here now Ian was going to take all the time that he would give him. He knew that was sad and desperate but if there was anyone to be desperate to spend time with it was your soulmate. At that realisation, Ian relaxed in Mickey’s grip, sagging back against the wall that Mickey had turned him against.

  There was a horrifying mix of sadness and joy running through him at this encounter and he had to squash it all. He couldn’t be feeling this around Mickey, it might show on his face and scare the other boy off.

  “Want to do it in the alley?” Ian croaked out, knowing there was no other possible reason that Mickey would still be here if he didn’t want to fuck. After all, it was no lie that sex with your soulmate was the best sex you could have.

  “Sure, hurry up then Firecrotch,” he smirked, letting go of Ian and making his way to said alley were shadows would keep them safe from prying eyes.

  He felt too cold without his soulmate’s touch and his eyes burned at the thought that this was just another meaningless fuck but he coughed and swallowed it down before following Mickey into the alley.

  Mickey had already pushed his pants down, looking at Ian impatiently and waiting as he leaned his forearms against the wall. Ian gulped again and made his way over to the other man who huffed that he was already stretched and for him to just get on with it.

  He took the opportunity to drape himself fully over his soulmate, fucking into him hard at Mickey’s request but kissing the back of his neck softly. Okay he wasn’t really kissing it so much as brushing his lips over the skin, too afraid that an actual kiss would have him being pushed away.

  As it was, Ian finished Mickey and then himself before pulling away. Pulling up his pants, he watched as Mickey did the same, the other man nodding once before he was setting off, back out of the alley and away.

  Ian took a moment to convince himself that there was no ache in his chest, that Mickey walking away like that didn’t mean anything. It didn’t really work but Ian could pretend it did.


	4. Medication

   They were just keeping up this fucking absurd, pointless dance around each other where in Mickey took what he wanted and Ian was too desperate for something not to give it. The pair would meet up to fuck and leave, just like that.

  At first he had kind of sympathised. He had understood Mickey’s reservations because of his dad and the homophobia he had to face, thinking only that he was lucky his family didn’t give a shift if he fucked dudes or girls. But after the first two weeks of this fuck buddy arrangement Ian began to lose sympathy.

  His chest tightened every time that Mickey walked away, he had at first put it down to sadness. It had been sadness. Now there was anger to. He was Mickey’s fucking soulmate, the thug could at least admit to Ian that he cared. He had to care, it was divine fate or whatever but he was realising that it probably was some stupid chemical reaction. But even Monica and Frank told each other they loved each other and they were what was known as Rotten Soulmates. Hell, in these past two weeks, in the past month since he had started seeing colour, he hadn’t once kissed his soulmate.

  The anger was laced with bitterness because it was fine for Mickey to pretend to the world, he could understand that, but what he couldn’t understand was why Mickey had to hide from himself and Ian. At night when he was lying in bed, trying to get off to sleep, the anger and the bitterness would fade to sadness. He would often cry silently into the pillow, so drained that he couldn’t even sob, fat tears just rolling off of his cheeks to dampen the material.

  The urge to tell his brother had gotten stronger to. He was worried, he knew that soulmate sickness came from not being around your soulmate for long periods of time, especially in the early months. There was also the soulmate sickness that came if one half of the pair felt rejected. Early symptoms included nausea and headaches, the inability to sleep. These all progressively got worse and in some extreme cases death could occur after years of pain.

  He knew that he was moping about, knew that he was quieter than usual. As the middle child, he often fell into the background, allowed the noise of the Gallaghers to wash over him. It was who he was, he saved his chatty tendencies for Mandy and some days he would fantasise about talking with Mickey too. Of course, that meant that his siblings didn’t notice and that was good because he didn’t need to burden Fiona and it wasn’t like he could really explain it anyway.

  Apparently he hadn’t noticed Lip enough.

  Ian had just gotten back for another “meet up” with Mickey. Today he had been tired after work and his usual sickness symptoms had been exaggerated with a pounding headache and churning stomach. So when the dirty Milkovich boy had turned up he hadn’t really been in the mood for a fuck which made it suck even more. Ian was afraid that turning down the other once would lead Mickey to finding sexual gratification elsewhere- not that Ian knew he didn’t already- and so he had simply sucked the other off and left him to think that he was sorted. In truth Ian had only gotten half hard, too sullen and in pain to get fully there.

  After that he had trudged home, one hand pressed firmly to his temple and head bent. The house had been mercifully quiet when he arrived- or at least as quiet as the Gallagher house got meaning there was overlapping voices but no yelling. Nevertheless, Ian climbed straight up the stairs to make his way to his shared room, his bed. Dinner didn’t seem appealing at the moment but sleep certainly did with the lack of it he had gotten recently.

  Ian pulled off his shoes and jacket before flopping down in bed, pulling the covers over him and relaxing into the warmth. Just ready to go to sleep when the door slammed open. The redhead ignored it because he shared the room with two of his brothers but then whoever it was came and sat down on the edge of Ian’s bed, the mattress dipping down.

  Supressing a grown, Ian rolled over and cracked an eye open to see Lip there. He promptly closed his eye again and rubbed the heels of his hands into them to try and rub away the tired sting.

  “What do you want Lip?” Ian asked, finally mustering the will to actually look at the older teen.

  “I want to know what’s got your panties all in a twist,” Lip the smartass replied.

  Ian leaned up on his elbows and looked intently at his brother trying to decide the benefits. He knew he could trust his brother, he knew about Ian’s preferences and he had never told anyone a secret that Ian had sworn him to. And he _really_ needed to tell someone.

  “I found my soulmate and he is rejecting me so I have soulmate sickness,” Ian breathed.

  “What? Oh fuck Ian,” Lip exclaimed, eyes wide.

  “Shut up Lip, you can’t tell anyone,” Ian insisted, sitting up fully now.

   “What, Ian, you’re sick!”

  “I know but it’ll work out,” Ian replied.

  “Who is it?” Lip asked, looking as if he couldn’t quite believe Ian’s last statement.

  “Mickey Milkovich,” Ian told him quietly.

  “Fuck… that explains a lot.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Hey so um, colour right. How’s that?” Lip asked, obviously changing the subject but still looking excited.

  “It’s amazing, really, really amazing and I used to think that it was worth finding my soulmate that hated me if I had it. Now, not so much. Can’t really explain it to someone who hasn’t seen it though,” Ian shrugged.

  “Shit, Ian. Okay look man, Fiona’s stretched thin and she may not see it but I do. You look really ill man, tired and drained, more pale than usual. I would think you’d look even worse if I could see colour so I’m going to leave you to sleep but if this doesn’t sort out soon, we have to tell Fiona and we need to get you on meds to stop this,” Lip sighed.

  “Okay man,” Ian nodded, lying back down, waiting until his brother left before rolling over again.

  Bond blockers, that was what Lip was talking about. Meds that stopped the soulmate connection. It didn’t quite remove colour again but it dulled the world, supposedly anyway. It also meant that you couldn’t feel any connection to your soulmate, none of the tingle when they were near or the slight feeling of their life. Before, Ian hadn’t thought that such medication was a big loss but now that he had experienced all this soulmate stuff he couldn’t help but dread the thought. But Ian couldn’t see Mickey coming around, he knew that this medicine was most probably his future.


	5. Just Talk

  Lip kept watching him and it was making life a hell of a lot harder for Ian, something that he really didn’t need. It had been a week since the redhead had told his older brother about his illness and in that time nothing had changed with Mickey and Ian was just getting worse. The thought of taking those blockers was awful, he didn’t even want to think about it.

  So, to keep his siblings at bay, Ian put on a mask. He made it seem as if he was doing better, he smiled more and made an effort to be around them. Lip seemed suspicious but he stayed away and so Ian just continued to deal with things.

  He thought he was doing very well until Monica turned up.

  Seeing her, hearing her, being in the same space… it made him snap. He ran out of Sheila’s house all the way to the Milkovich home without thought. Springing up the steps, head pounding worse than ever, Ian suddenly hesitated. He stared at the door, realising that this probably wasn’t the best idea. His heart was pounding in his ears and adrenaline pressed him forwards and he was knocking on the door.

  A very disgruntled Mickey opened the door and all Ian could think to say was “I need to see you”. How pathetic. Mickey agreed though, he told Ian to wait while he went back inside for a moment. The short period where he waited, Ian fidgeted constantly. Did Mickey mean for him to wait or was it just to get away from Ian? No, Mickey liked to fuck, he wouldn’t turn that down.

  Sure enough, Mickey was back before too long with trainers and a jacket. The other teen didn’t say anything as he barged past Ian and continued down the street. The second Gallagher son didn’t know where he was heading and Mickey never looked back even so, he followed. Ian made sure that he followed a step behind, not saying anything and instead trying to focus on quelling the building panic. As ever, he felt ill but the headache and the nausea seemed to lessen slightly in his soulmate’s presence and that was something with how shit he felt right now, all he needed and he wasn’t going to fight for more.

  They kept walking in silence until they reached a group of abandoned buildings. The place was desolate, empty, private. Perfect. Mickey led them up into one of the buildings, finally stopping in one of the rooms.

  The whole Monica thing and then the long period of silence with Mickey had Ian’s heart racing. In all honesty, one of the last things he wanted to do right now was fuck but all he wanted was to be around his soulmate. One didn’t come without the other though and so Ian strode forward and dropped to his knees in front of Mickey, pulling down his pants enough to pull out his dick. Ian just needed a moment to calm himself in order to be able to get onto the main show but he couldn’t make Mickey bored and besides it wasn’t like sucking Mickey’s dick certainly was a chore.

  He made a good job of it too, Mickey had been about to speak before Ian got his mouth on him but any words were choked off into moans. The redhead put his all into it, concentrating fully on this task and nothing else that had happened, not even the way his head was pounding with the soulmate sickness. Mickey’s hands were wound into his hair and Ian felt pathetic for taking joy in the contact but eventually, he could feel himself harden and he pulled away.

  Mickey already looked wrecked and Ian took pride in that, smirking at him as he got up and turned Mickey around. He knew that the brunette would have lube and sure enough, fumbling in his jean pockets yielded positive results. There was also a condom, not like Ian was fucking anyone else but there was no guarantee for Mickey…

  He wiped those thoughts from his mind, instead prepping the other before fucking into him. It was fast, rough and quick like Mickey liked, the opposite of the slow, gentle lovemaking that Ian sometimes dreamed about. Instead of dwelling though, he put his efforts into the fuck, burying his nose in Mickey’s neck and breathing in the smell of his soulmate, all dirty and sweaty but so perfect because it was Mickey.

  Fast and rough didn’t last as long as Ian would like however and they both came, signalling for Ian to pull away and stop touching. Today that part was even more painful than usual so the redhead turned away while he straightened up his pants and tucked himself away in order to hide his face and the emotions that must have showed there. Not like Mickey probably cared enough to look.

  Sighing, Ian made to leave without turning back, briefly reflecting on the fact that neither of them had spoken a word to each other since Mickey had told him to wait. The pain in his head grew and Ian suddenly felt sick at the thought that these blockers might be an inevitable part of his future.

  But then his arm was grabbed.

  So lost in his thoughts, the unexpected touch made Ian flinch. He whipped around to see Mickey there because of course it was Mickey there was no one else here. What he didn’t understand was why Mickey was stopping him, Ian had made sure that he got off.

  “Hey, um what’s up?” Ian asked uncertainly, clenching his jaw afterwards as the anxiousness that had claimed him the last few weeks climbed his throat.

  “The fuck you mean man? You’re the one that came to my house pretty much fucking crying, what the hells with you?” Mickey snapped.

  Ian couldn’t help but frown, looking down at his feet. He hadn’t thought that Mickey would get mad over being dragged out for a fuck but if this time screwed even these brief meetings up then Ian didn’t know what he would do. Certainly these blockers wouldn’t be enough.

  “Sorry, didn’t think you’d mind,” Ian told him quietly.

  “Mind what?” Mickey asked, letting go of Ian’s arm but not stepping back.

  “The fucking, I mean we do it all the time right so you can’t get mad just cause I came to you on my own terms,” Ian snapped.

  “Wasn’t meaning that you fucking idiot,” Mickey snapped.

  “Oh fuck you, this was a mistake. Sorry for bothering you,” Ian pretty much snarled, aware that his eyes were narrowing it. His head was pounding and he wanted to close them fully but he had a feeling that Mickey was going to swing at him any minute so better not risk it. Besides, having them open meant that he could see that lack of pain on Mickey’s face but then again, Ian wasn’t rejecting _him_.

  Ian turned to go again but this time Mickey shoved him hard into a pillar. The redhead hissed in pain and shoved weakly at the other but Mickey’s hands were wrapped tight in Ian’s shirt and the fucker was strong.

  “Stop trying to fuck off and just tell me why the fuck you’re upset!” he yelled at Ian, the redhead wincing at the volume. That was before the words sunk in.


	6. Sickeness

  Ian stared at him for a moment, not quite believing what he had just heard. Mickey Milkovich had just asked him to _talk_. Groaning quietly, he rubbed the heal of his hand into his temple before pressing the other to Mickey’s chest. In truth, he was conflicted, did he want Mickey’s touch that badly or did he want to prove that he wasn’t a pushover? In the end he concluded that he was too fed up to give a shit and just left his hand on Mickey’s chest, fingers curling slightly into the material of the brunette’s shirt.

  “So you going to talk or what? You seem to want to rabbit on the rest of the fucking time,” Mickey snapped.

  “It’s nothing, something just shook me up is all,” Ian replied, leaning his head back against the rough concrete of the pillar.

  “Fuck sake Gallagher! I’m trying to be nice here and listen to your fucking problems like a good fucking soulmate or something and now you choose that you want to shut down!” Mickey yelled.

  That was when Ian snapped. Good soulmate! Fuck that, Mickey was a shit soulmate, he didn’t really care about Ian, the sickness proved that much.

  Growling, Ian roughly shoved the other away, backing off and glaring hard at the Milkovich because fuck him. Fuck him and how he thought he was so good to throw Ian a fucking bone!

  “Oh, fuck you! You’re a terrible fucking soulmate!” Ian yelled, “you want to know what happened? My mom happened. Monica fucking Gallagher rolls back into town. Do you know what she is? She’s one half of a Rotten bond. She’s a Rotten soulmate like Frank! But you know what, they don’t have soulmate sickness, neither of them ever has but I do! I fucking do and you know what, that makes us worse than them! We’re fucking worse than a Rotten soul bond.

  “And Lip, he keeps telling me to get bond blockers, he keeps seeing how much I’m hurting and he keeps telling me. Cause it fucking hurts Mickey, this soulmate sickness, it sucks so bad and it keeps getting worse. Even though I hate the thought of taking those fucking pills cause I mean, you’re not ill. You’re not ill because I didn’t reject you and I want to have a soulmate and I don’t want to take the meds but I’m going to have to. I’m going to have to…”

  Ian trailed off, voice getting quieter and quieter through his rant and now, to his horror, he realised he was crying. Furiously, he wiped away the tears on the sleeve of jacket and glared at Mickey. The other was just stood there, stock still staring at Ian.

  “You’re sick?” Mickey said eventually, it was quiet.

  “Yeah, well what do you expect. It’s fine though, I’ll just take the meds,” Ian said, voice broken and choked now he wasn’t yelling. Tears still pricked at his eyes but he refused to allow them to fall.

  “I didn’t… why did you come to fuck me then if you’re sick and your deadbeat mom shows up?” Mickey asked, his jaw was clenched and he looked… sad? Remorseful?

  “Didn’t want to fuck but I needed to see you,” Ian muttered.

  “What and you couldn’t have just said?” Mickey snapped, rubbing a hand over his eyebrow, nose twitching nervously.

  “No! No I fucking couldn’t. How the fuck would you have reacted? Oh hey Mick, can I come and cuddle up, Mom’s in town and my fucking body is tearing itself apart, by the way I don’t think colour’s worth it anymore?” Ian snarled. What the fuck world did Mickey live in?

  “Okay, fair, I… yeah. Ian I’m- I’m fucking sorry okay,” Mickey got out.

  Ian stared and then softened. Fuck. Mickey would get away with this because the fucker was under Ian’s skin and he was going to always try and understand what Mickey was going through. He had even used Ian’s first name for probably the first time ever since their thing.

  “It’s okay Mick. I get that you can’t have a male soulmate. I get that your dad would… less than pleased so to say. But Mick, I’m sick because you’re rejecting me. We can hide but you’re hiding from me too. You’re fighting against the bond and it’s making me sick, you just come back because soulmate sex is unbeatable,” Ian sighed, resigned.

  “Fuck,” Mickey breathed, “I fucked up.”

  Ian bit his lip at that. He really wanted to hope that this would mean change but he couldn’t be sure. If Mickey was just feeling guilty then he couldn’t so this, he couldn’t go through with this sham of a relationship. He had to check, had to give the brunette thug an out.

  “It’s okay, I can take the blockers and if you want we can still fuck but if the blockers stop that effect on- on things then you can go back to fucking whoever. We can just leave it, pretend it none of this ever happened,” Ian said. His heart pounded, suddenly terrified that this would be the option Mickey chose.

  There was a beat where nothing happened and Ian’s head was _just filled with this is it_. He swallowed, bracing himself for this finally rejection. How much more ill would this make him?

  What Mickey did next however Ian would never had predicted.

  The other teen strode forward quickly, the space between them gone in a blink and there was a moment where Ian thought that he would be walking out of here with a nice shiner. That worry was over in the next moment as Mickey kissed him.

  The brunette’s lips crashed into his and they were just as soft as Ian had imagined in his daydreaming. There was no hesitation in his response, even the sock didn’t stop him, it just felt too natural. Mickey had one hand on the back of Ian’s neck, the other cupping his face, both strangely gentle, while Ian kept hold of the shorter boy’s hips as if it were the only thing keeping him in reality. It could well be. The kiss was fast and desperate, all tongue and teeth and perfection. The best moment of Ian’s life since he first saw colour.

  When they pulled apart, breathless and panting. Ian knew he had a goofy smile on his face as he looked over Mickey’s face but he didn’t care because Mickey was still holding his head and he was smiling back.

  “Don’t you fucking do that, don’t you fucking dare,” Mickey growled, smile falling away into a serious expression before his hands tightened and he was kissing Ian again.

  Ian smiled into the kiss, he wouldn’t need the blockers, he could already feel the sickness fading.


	7. Mickey's View

  Mickey couldn’t believe the pure hurt and vulnerability that had been displayed on his Gallagher’s face when the redhead had come to his house to see him. Him, even though he had been doing his best to push him away. The kid was an open book, emotions displayed for all to see, a trait that Mickey never thought he would see in a south sider. Yet there Ian Gallagher was.

  The boy was an enigma. To the casual eye, the teen looked like the human version of a puppy. Sometimes the similarities were quite shocking really. It was what led Mickey to agree to meet up with him even if emotions were going to get smeared quite obviously over everything. Ian Gallagher was his opposite in that respect, Mickey knew that their bond was a death sentence to both of them and he hid from it, but Firecrotch was a romantic.

  Still, Mickey couldn’t often bring himself to regret their meeting, their eyes locking and the colour that sprang forth. He was… attracted to boys, men, dick, he knew that, even if he tried to deny it, even to himself. He always had been, the first time he had fucked a guy he had gotten off harder than he ever had with a woman and it was even better still when he had bottomed for the first time. Even hoping that his soulmate would have a nice pair of tits, Mickey always knew that his “one” would be a dude. It’s why he never made direct eye contact where possible.

  Then there was Gallagher. Alien, pale, freckled redhead with a soppy smile and heart. Ridiculous. But boy did he have the best dick of any man, nine inches that he knew how to use. Everyone said that soulmate sex was the best that you would ever get and it turned out it was true. That was why Mickey began to come back, needing to see his soulmate but still trying to fool himself that it was just for the fuck and nothing more.

  When he looked at those watery eyes and panicked demeanour, Mickey knew that he had been lying. He would do anything for this kid. Their bond, it meant he cared and he hated it.

  Instead of saying anything else though, he made the kid wait before brushing past him with the intentions to go to the abandoned buildings. There they could fuck or whatever, where people wouldn’t walk in or interrupt. He knew that Ian would need that right now.

  The walk was silent and Mickey found himself having to focus almost viciously on the colours about them. The greens and reds, all of the colours that he had looked up in a moment of weakness. He had to because he was getting angry. It was a protective fire, one that he had only really ever felt for Mandy before but now he was feeling it with Ian Gallagher, his soulmate. Because someone had hurt his soulmate.

  Silently, Mickey fumed. He couldn’t even bring himself to look at Ian, couldn’t risk the younger teen seeing the anger and couldn’t risk the anger growing seeing the hopelessness in those green eyes. Instead, he just marched a pace ahead of the other, silently thankful that Gallagher had chosen not to say anything but just keep quiet.

  The brunette didn’t really know what to expect when they got to the buildings. Of course their usual thing was a good hard fuck and Mickey brushing the redhead off when he tried to talk afterwards. Somehow he felt that that was not how things were going to come about this time however.  

  That was why it was such a surprise when they reached the buildings and Ian was just on him. He had turned to ask what was wrong but the Gallagher was there on his knees in front of him, pulling Mickey’s trousers down before he even had time to register what was going on. Then he seemed to be trying to suck the brunette’s brains out through his dick. There was a desperation to the actions but to be honest that was to be expected in the younger’s state of mind. All Mickey could do was wind his fingers into the red bangs and stifle moans of pleasure.

  By the time that he pulled back, Mickey was panting and wrecked, barely there as the other turned him and prepped him before sliding in. The fuck was fast and hard just the way they always did it, the way Mickey liked, and it surprised him again. He would have thought that this time Ian would try something different, more intimate, and he couldn’t understand why it was all so… the same.

  As soon as it was over, Ian pulled away, even quicker than usual where he would try to linger and touch Mickey for a moment longer- always the moments that guilt ate at him for pushing the other away. This time though he turned away and righted his clothes, a tense set to his shoulders that shouldn’t have been there after such sex.

  Then the fucker was leaving. The teen was walking away without a backwards glance. This was the point that Mickey realised that he would have to instigate feelings and talking because he couldn’t have Ian walking off like this. He obviously wanted more but he was too scared to take it because Mickey was a jackass that kept pushing him away.

  So Mickey grabbed his arm. The redhead in true Gallagher fashion got all wound up and that was when the shit came out. Because Mickey had said the wrong thing, he’d admit that, he’d been insensitive but really, Ian couldn’t expect anymore from the likes of him.

  That was when the soulmate sickness bomb came out. Ian yelled it mid rant and Mickey felt his heart stutter. Looking closer now, he could see the deep bags under the redhead’s eyes and the way that the green orbs narrowed in pain. And it was his doing. Then it was soulmate blockers and Mickey felt cold at the thought. Because Ian had every right.

  He was the worst kind of soulmate, one who rejected the other until they became sick. Even worse was the fact that Ian hadn’t rejected him, he wasn’t ill. Ian was ill but he was still excepting his part of the bond.

  “You’re sick?” Mickey said eventually, it was quiet because he was a dumbass and couldn’t think of anything else to say amid the swirling emotions.

  “Yeah, well what do you expect. It’s fine though, I’ll just take the meds,” Ian said, voice broken and choked, his eyes were wet and it broke Mickey’s heart.

  “I didn’t… why did you come to fuck me then if you’re sick and your deadbeat mom shows up?” Mickey asked, he clenched his jaw against the threat of tears, internally cringing about how incredibly stupid he was. How could he had said that to Ian? Of course Ian didn’t want to just fuck.

  “Didn’t want to fuck but I needed to see you,” Ian muttered, confirming Mickey’s thoughts. Didn’t make him feel good though, only worse about the situation that he had created.

 “What and you couldn’t have just said?”

 “No! No I fucking couldn’t. How the fuck would you have reacted? Oh hey Mick, can I come and cuddle up, Mom’s in town and my fucking body is tearing itself apart, by the way I don’t think colour’s worth it anymore?” Ian snarled. Yeah he deserved that.

  But then he said the worst thing. Ian said the words, resigned and tired sounding and it was the worst thing he had ever heard, “It’s okay Mick. I get that you can’t have a male soulmate. I get that your dad would… less than pleased so to say. But Mick, I’m sick because you’re rejecting me. We can hide but you’re hiding from me too. You’re fighting against the bond and it’s making me sick, you just come back because soulmate sex is unbeatable.”

  He was the biggest piece of shit on the planet. “Fuck,” Mickey breathed, “I fucked up.”

“It’s okay, I can take the blockers and if you want we can still fuck but if the blockers stop that effect on- on things then you can go back to fucking whoever. We can just leave it, pretend it none of this ever happened,” Ian said.

  But it wasn’t okay. That wasn’t okay. And Ian was looking at him, expecting something off him, a denial, expecting Mickey to beg. But what could he possibly say? He had broken his own soulmate.

  So he lurched forward and kissed him. The first time he had ever kissed Ian, ever kissed a guy and it was the best decision of his life.


	8. After

  They broke from the kiss slowly, foreheads pressed together, Mickey’s breath ghosting over Ian’s face. They were pressed together, so close, but not in a sexual way. That is when Ian cried. The tears began to fall silently but then he felt a sob building so he pulled away, turning and stuffing his fist between his teeth to stifle it and to hide it. He couldn’t show weakness now after Mickey had opened up, not when Mickey had finally decided that he was worth it.

  It wasn’t even sad tears. It was tears of overwhelming emotions. His head didn’t hurt and his stomach wasn’t rolling, his skin didn’t feel tender like it was burning and it all proved that that kiss hadn’t been false. Mickey had meant that kiss, had meant it when he told Ian not to take to pills. He was so happy right now but there was a hole in his chest that hadn’t quite filled, it was empty from so long of being abandoned, ripped open further by the arrival of Monica.

  These weren’t sad tears, they were tears of relief.

  “Ian, what’s wrong?” Mickey asked behind him, he sounded so unsure.

  The redhead took a couple of deep breaths, wiped his face and turned around to face his soulmate. Mickey was chewing on his lip, hands twitching nervously at his sides. Fuck it.

  “Nothing. I’m just… really happy I guess and tired. I’m really fucking tired. But the pain’s gone. You stopped the pain,” Ian confessed, stepping forward and reaching out to stroke a hand along the brunettes jaw. He silently rejoiced when Mickey didn’t flinch away from the contact.

  In fact, Mickey did the opposite. The thug leaned into the touch, stepping forward again and placed both hands on the back of Ian’s neck. The man was beaming at Ian’s words and it was the most fucking beautiful thing that he had ever seen. His eyes blue, skin pale but cheeks flushed, lips swollen and pink from their kissing.

  Colour was beautiful and Mickey was beautiful.

  “The pain’s gone? The sickness?” Mickey breathed.

  “Yeah Mick,” Ian smiled back.

  He got another kiss for that, a little peck before Mickey drew back again.

  “I liked that you know. The kissing. Fucking idiot for not doing that before. I’m so sorry Ian, I mean it. I’m so sorry and I will do so much better in the future,” Mickey promised and fuck, his thug’s eyes were watery too.

  “Thank you Mickey. I understand you know, I do, but we are meant for each other and I don’t want you to hide from me anymore,” Ian told him.

  “Okay, okay tough guy. Enough of this sappy fag shit and let’s get out of here,” Mickey said but he was smiling and his eyes were still wet, no malice in his tone.

  The walk back to their homes was silent. The pair of them walked along, occasionally bumping shoulders and shoving each other playfully, casting each other bright smiles all the time. When they reached the Milkovich house Mickey even reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly before letting go and smiling. He ran up the front steps and stopped just outside the front door, turning and flipping Ian off when he realised the redhead was still watching him.

  Ian smiled to himself the entire journey back to the Gallagher house, feeling lighter, freer than he had in weeks. The sickness really was gone, his head clear and his body no longer in pain. He would feel Mickey’s phantom touch on his shoulder and his lips still tingled. It was the best feeling in the world. He really was in love.

  The teen didn’t hesitate as he reached his house, bounding up the steps and making his way inside, purposefully dialling down the smile so as not to look like a complete idiot to his family. Not that they seemed to be about, still out with… Monica. Fuck. That really did take the smile off of his face. Ian may have solved one problem but there was still that other.

  The woman stuck around for a couple of days, maybe even weeks, upsetting the dynamics of the family and raising the hopes of the younger ones. Ian personally got despondent around his mother. He couldn’t help but love her, they had a lot in common and she always tried to hang out with him the most. It was nice in a way to get the affection even if she didn’t stick around long. He didn’t ever get his hopes up anymore but it always still hurt when she was gone again.

  Rubbing a now shaking hand over his face, Ian sighed and started to make his way up the stairs to his room. After such a strange and emotionally charged day, Ian was feeling exhausted but still too wired to actually fall asleep. Instead, he just lay there and stared up at the ceiling, listening to the muffled sounds of Chicago.

  Eventually, he heard the front door opening and closing, the murmured voices of his siblings sounding subdued. They, like him it would seem, lacked energy. He contemplated getting up and going down because, although the soulmate sickness was gone, he still felt like shit. Turns out he didn’t have to.

  Lip entered their room soon after everyone arrived, sighing and not noticing Ian for a moment. When he did however he just gave a grunt of acknowledgement before going and rummaging through his stuff. Turns out he was looking for his weed which he rolled into a joint and lit, plopping himself down on the bed beside Ian.

  The redhead sat up and took the offered joint, taking a puff before handing it back. There was a moment where the pair of them just sat in silence, Ian didn’t know what to say and really what was there to say? Monica was back, things were going to get even rougher for a while and then she would leave again and probably break Debbie and Carls’ hearts in the process.

  “Where’d you go man?” Lip asked after a moment.

  “Went to see Mickey,” Ian replied.

  “Why?” Lip snorted incredulously, turning his body so that he was fully facing the younger brother.

  “Because he’s my soulmate Lip.”

  “Yeah he’s also the asshole that’s making you sick,” Lip pointed out.

  “Not anymore,” Ian murmured in reply.

  “What?”

  “I confronted him and he finally excepted our bond. Kissed me and everything, the pain just faded away,” Ian told him.

  There was a long moment where the two just sat there, watching each other. Lip was studying him and after a moment Ian began to fidget uncomfortably under the scrutiny.

  “About fucking time,” was all Lip said, it was all he said on the matter and yet Ian could tell that he was pleased.  


	9. Choosing Sides

  Ian had been scared to begin with. The first few days after “that day” the second Gallagher son was on edge, waiting for the moment when things would go back to the way it was before. His head was clear for the first time in weeks, the sickness having gone, it meant that he would string together more worries in it. It was just that so many weeks had been spent in turmoil that he couldn’t settle into this new, loving and frankly ideal situation.

 Never had Ian truly blamed Mickey for the way that he had treated him. The thug had been scared. His family were notoriously homophobic, Ian had no doubt that the fate that befell his soulmate would be equal or worse than any other gay if Terry Milkovich ever found out. That was also why he had been worried that Mickey would go back on himself. Survival instincts and all.

  But he didn’t.

  It had been two weeks where they had met up near enough ever day with everything changing. Mickey would kiss him each time- Ian was convinced that the brunette was just as hooked with them as he was- and they would do more than just fuck. They hung out, smoked, got high or drunk together, chatted even. Mickey still didn’t do emotions, they were years away from the big L word but Ian didn’t mind in the slightest. He would happily say that Mickey was his friend as well as his soulmate.

  Often, Mickey would come and visit him at work where they fucked in the back. Where he and Kash used to. A fact that he didn’t like to dwell on and was more than happy to have overwritten those memories with new, better ones. The very thought that he had ever slept with his boss made him feel ill. The thought of fucking anyone at this point made him ill.

  In the end, Ian felt able to full enjoy his bond. Enjoy colours. They had been beautiful at first, new and exciting, then they had felt like a kick in the balls, compensation for having a soulmate that hated him. Afterwards, when the soulmate sickness had taken hold, the colours had started to fade. Now, when Ian woke up, he was able to watch the sunrise in awe, no negativity attached.

  Today was the same, he woke up and watched the colours in the sky before getting up and making his way down to start the day. Lip was there smirking at him but he didn’t let that get to him after flipping him off of course.

  He had work after school today which meant that was a strong possibility that Mickey would come and visit him. That thought while delicious also meant that the school day dragged by. Mandy was also always there as his fake girlfriend and his very real best friend. His soulmate’s sister. He really needed to tell her but he couldn’t. Ever. Mickey had to tell her and only he would know when he was ready to.

  Finally though, the school day was over and he was heading off to the Kash n Grab for his shift. One without Kash, just him, a fact that his soulmate was very well aware of. The redhead went and sat behind the counter waiting but he didn’t have to wait long. The bell rang above the door and his thug came swaggering in with a smirk on his face.

  When their thing had first started, Mickey looked like he had never seen a shower. His skin was dirty like he was hiding himself and his hair was always a mess and yet he had never stunk as such. In the last few weeks though, he had clean skin and styled hair, looking more and more breath-taking each day.

  That smirk just made even better and Ian was straight up. The door was locked and the two of them were in the back room, Mickey immediately attacking Ian’s mouth. It was the best thing in the world and he was so turned on.

  Since they were about to fuck in the back room of Ian’s work, they decided to get a move on, Ian moving behind Mickey to prepare him. As he slid home, Ian made sure to lean down over his soulmate, pressing his chest to Mickey’s back to get as close as possible. He placed little kisses on the other’s neck, careful not to mark him but enough to show the affection as the two laced their hands together. Little grunts and moans filled the space, Ian completely wrapped up in his other half.

  So wrapped up that he didn’t hear Kash come in, not until the door of the room opened with the man stood in the doorway, staring openly in horror and betrayal.

  “What the fuck,” Mickey cursed, pulling away and hastily fixing his trousers before dashing past Kash.

  Ian stared at his boss in horror even as he heard the clatter and chime of the store door, knowing that Mickey was gone. Kash was watching him with open betrayal but Ian couldn’t give a shit, all he could think was that it was over. This whole relationship thing with Mickey was done, he would go back to meeting up for a fuck to take off the edge, Ian would once again be nothing to him.

  Those were the thoughts that swirled around his head for the next few hours as he silently- and very awkwardly- worked his shift around Kash. All he wanted to do was go home and cry, curl up in a ball and sob at the unfairness. But he couldn’t because he needed the money.

  Then the chime of the bell went above the door, Ian looked up to see that it was dark outside but that’s not what mattered. What mattered was that it was Mickey that had just walked through the door. He swaggered in and Ian’s stomach dropped. What the hell was the idiot going to do?

  Apparently make threats before going to pick up a Snickers bar and taunt his boss.

  “Fucking right you keep your mouth shut. You better keep it shut you hear me?”

  The whole time, Kash had been walking around looking heart broken- pathetic- but then he made his way around the counter, a glint of something in his eye. Ian watched it all with mounting fear.

  “Put the candy back Mickey,” the older man warned.

  Of course Ian’s soulmate was a stubborn, pig-headed Milkovich so that didn’t happen. Just taunting. “I like ‘em sweet.  But then so do you.” Some days Ian regretted telling Mickey about him and his boss.

  That was when Kash pulled the gun. He aimed it just over Mickey’s shoulder and pulled the trigger. Jars of source exploded but it was still way too close for Ian. Fear flashed on Mickey’s face and Ian was there, darting in front of his soulmate. He reached back and grabbed on to Mickey’s arm, heart steadying slightly when he felt Mickey’s other hand curl into the back of Ian’s shirt.

  Kash faltered then, eyes still hurt. It just made Ian angry.

  “It’s a fucking candy bar Kash, get over it,” Ian snarled.

  “You’re going to side with him? You’re fucking _him_?” Kash got out.

  “Oh get over yourself you dirty pervert, find yourself someone your own age to cheat on your wife with,” Mickey growled behind Ian. He was jealous, the redhead realised.

  “You’re a Milkovich, Ian you can do so much better!” Kash exclaimed. He looked close to tears but Ian couldn’t bring himself to care.

  “I don’t think so. And he’s a hell of a lot better for me than you.”

  With that, Ian was whirling round and yanking Mickey behind him, out of the store and into the night.


	10. Things Have Changed

    Mickey’s heart was beating a million miles an hour and Ian’s hand on his arm seemed to burn. He had been too stressed, too uptight all day ever since that foreign fucker had walked in on him taking it up the ass from his soulmate. He had always hated Kash, hated him because he was a sick pervert that had fucked his soulmate and had made him feel like shit, like he wasn’t anything. Mickey may pretend to be blind to the people around him but he saw things, connected dots, and he was especially observant around Ian. No one would keep with Mickey as Ian did without snapping for so long if they didn’t hate themselves on some level. Mickey blamed that stupid paedophile for it on some level.

  So he hated Kash anyway but he had been terrified and riled up. He had snapped after hours, after he had run out like a pussy leaving Ian there alone. He had promised himself he would be a better soulmate and he had just run off, God knows what must have been going through Ian’s head in those hours. But when he had finally manned up and actually returned, all he did was posture. But Ian… he had stood by him “he’s a hell of a lot better for me than you”.

  Now here they were, Ian was still pulling him along by his sleeves, down the dark street away from the store, unrelenting, silent. Never would he have thought that he would let the ginger idiot touch him and control him so publicly but here they were and Mickey couldn’t bring himself to pull away. His soulmate was making him soft, was breaking his walls down and it scared him but something told him that it was worth it.

  So, instead of pulling away, he carried on the fast pace that Ian propelled them at and waited for him to be ready to stop. The further away from the store they got the looser the knots in his stomach got but at the same time the more he feared Ian’s mood.

  The younger boy had supported him in the shop but Mickey had no way of knowing what he was going to do once they stopped. Mickey had run and left him, either he was going to get ranted at for that or Ian was going to be a self-depreciating prick and ignore it.

  Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm, focusing on his soulmate’s orange hair and how it glowed bright with every street lamp they passed. It had been months but those months hadn’t been enough to make colour any less of a thrill after seventeen years without. Every time that he saw the green of Ian’s eyes or the flaming colour of his hair, it felt like he was seeing it for the first time again.

  Ian was making him weak.

  Weak enough that he didn’t realise where they were going until they reached the abandoned buildings, standing tall and skeletal. They had been a special place for him to get away before but after he had met eyes with Ian and colour had become a thing for him and he had started to hate them. It was only grey of concrete with dark smudges of dirt. Even the trees and shrubs were twisted dead and brown. That was why he had first brought Ian here, because he was clinging to the special feel of the place.

  It was special again now, it was where their relationship had changed, it was where Ian felt at home enough to bring him after a screw up like today.

  “Mickey.”

  He had had his head ducked and had been too deep in thought to realise that they had stopped. Ian was stood there in front of him, no longer touching him and the idiot looked… scared. Mickey could only assume that the Gallagher was scared of what he thought he himself would do. He was afraid to be rejected perhaps or that things would go back to how they were before. His Gallagher was a drama queen after all and Mickey had fuelled it by running off after he had been caught in the act of gay sex by someone who could very well relay it to his father.

  “I’m sorry,” Ian said.

  “Shut the fuck Ian. None of that. No. Not going back or stopping it or anything k? We’re going on like usual and rub it in Kash n Grab’s face. None of your drama,” Mickey said firmly, holding up his hand for emphasis and to stop the idiot from going ahead and blabbering on.

  “Oh- um uh, thank you Mick. We’ll just be more careful?” Ian said, half stating, half asking.

  “Look man, yeah more care would be good but every time I fucking think about you I get horny and need to fuck you okay, was gonna happen. I’m not going to run off Ian. I’m gonna stay because you’re important and you’re my soulmate so wipe that stupid look off of your face,” Mickey snapped, defensive because emotions were not his thing.

  His words seemed to do the trick though, the other boy relaxing slowly and breathing out. Mickey watched him openly in a way that he never would have dared to do before. He knew now that his staring actually reassured Ian- because he was a fucking freak- so it was a win win, getting to observe and understand while comforting the other.

  “Thanks Mick,” he said quietly.

  “Fucks sake man, stop sounding like a kicked puppy. Now I’m all wound up think you can do me a favour and help me relax?” he propositioned.

  Shit may have changed with their relationship but not the sex, tonnes of mind-blowing sex regularly. It made Ian smile anyway though he knew the giant sap loved to kiss him almost as much as he loved to fuck him. Though in all fairness, now that he had tried it, kissing was good. There was a reason that you walked by couples just making out.

  His Gallagher grinned at him, warm more than full of lust, stepping forward and kissing him in the best way.


	11. Plan

  They had both promised to be more careful after the whole Kash fiasco. They hadn’t said how just that they would be. They weren’t. Nothing changed in the way that they went about things, in fact, if anything, they were less careful. The two of them met up more and more, there were times more frequently they didn’t even have sex, just hung out. Mickey and Ian would smoke and drink together, they were chat or just sit in silence, just basking in each other, leaching the feeling of calm that came with being near your soulmate.

  It was different, more emotional again, the opposite of what Ian had feared it would be when Kash has discovered them. In fact, Mickey would come in and flaunt what he had with Ian in front of the older man. He even kissed Ian in front of him before smirking at the man. Then Kash crawled off like the slimy coward he was, leaving behind his two young sons and pregnant wife behind.

  This even more affectionate Mickey warmed Ian through. He wished that he could talk about it with Lip, share with him how wonderful his soulmate was with his brother that still saw in black and white. He desperately wanted Lip to understand why Mickey was good for him, how even though they had gotten off to a bad start it was very different now.

  Different… Ian would never have thought back in the beginning that they would share the moments they did. Moments like the one where Ian became certain that Mickey loved him. It was one of those times that they didn’t meet up for sex, they weren’t even there to get high or drunk. They were in their abandoned building lying on an old mattress that Mickey had dragged there a while ago, so close that their shoulders were pressed together.

  Heads turned to face each other, they spoke quietly, recounted all of the best times from their childhoods. It was soft and special, the first time that Mickey had really shared something with him like this, something so private. They were there in their own world, so far from any residence that there was no other noise or life to pull them from it.

  Eventually though, it was the change in light that drew Ian’s attention. He leaned up on his elbows to get a better look through the glassless window of the old building to see the sky as the sun set. Despite colours having been a part of their lives for months now, the magic of sun sets and sunrises still hadn’t worn off. Now, looking up at the sky turning orange and pink while sprawled out next to his soulmate, this was the best one that he had ever seen.

  He glanced over at Mickey to see that he too was leant up on his elbows, a soft smile on his lips as he watched the sky before glancing over at Ian and meeting his eyes. They had watched the sky for a while before turning to each other- Mickey initiated it- and getting into the best make out session of Ian’s life.

  They hadn’t stayed too much longer after that, walking together silently until they parted way.

  For the next week Ian was on a permanent high, every time that he sat down at school he would daydream about his soulmate, as he was stacking shelves at Kash n Grab. Mickey of course came to see him, they hooked up and even grabbed sandwiches once. It was all going so well.

  They had promised each other that they would be more careful, that they would make sure that they wouldn’t be caught. Yet they hadn’t changed. Kash had caught them in the freezer at the back of the store in the middle of a great fuck, that was how they got caught again. This time by Frank.

  The man it seemed had entered the shop through the back as Ian had locked the front entrance as they always did. He must have heard them and come looking because one minute Ian was wrapped up in everything Mickey and the next he heard his father, whipping round to see him grinning evilly through the shelves.

  “Hello boys,” the mand said,” the front door was locked so I came in the back, no pun intended. Might want to check the locks.”

  Then he was gone. Frank, the drunk, useless piece of space left through the front of the shop with armfuls of unpaid for alcohol. Mickey and Ian were left behind, Ian in shock with his pants still half way down his legs and Mickey rushing to pull his up.

   The brunette paced for a moment, running an obviously shaky hand through his hair and pointedly not looking at Ian. The redhead could practically see the panic emanating from him, it made his heart jump up to his throat and fear clog his veins.

  He got it, he did. It was one thing to have a cowardly hidden fag walk in on you, it was another entirely to have Frank Gallagher. The man would blab, soon the whole of the southside would know and Mickey would be a dead man. There was a chance that Terry wouldn’t believe the old drunken fool but it was slim. So Ian really did understand the panic that Mickey was feeling, didn’t mean that he was any less scared that Mickey would do something stupid.

  “We’ve gotta fucking kill him Ian. I’m not joking around. I made a fucking dumb promise to stick by your suicidal ass and I don’t break promises but if you want me to be around then we gotta kill him. Be doing the world a favour,” Mickey rushed out, turning to face Ian, breathless in his fear.

  “No, no Mick, absolutely not,” Ian denied straight away.

  “Ian he’s gonna tell everyone and my dad is going to hear, both you and I will be dead before we can even think it, besides, he’s a shit dad, you’ll be better off!” Mickey exclaimed.

  Ian did the only thing he could think of then; he strode forward and wrapped Mickey in his arms. Whenever the brunette touched him he felt calm, he didn’t know if Mickey would feel the same way but it was worth a try. When the thug went lax in his arms Ian thought it safe to say that he felt the same.

  “If you kill him Mickey, they’ll lock you up for a long ass time and you won’t be with me anyway, knowing Frank, he won’t talk but just in case maybe we should prepare,” Ian said to him.

  “Prepare how Ian?” Mickey asked, not moving his face away from Ian’s neck.

  “To leave Mick,” Ian replied softly.

  “Okay,” came the muffled reply after a moment’s hesitation.


	12. World Of Colour

  They had both packed, they both had bags hidden under their beds ready to go at a moment’s notice, the bare essentials but enough to get them away, money that they had both saved up, clothes but not much else. Ian didn’t revel in the thought of leaving at all, he had had the chance to get out of this shithole before when they found out who his real father was but he hadn’t taken it then and, if situations didn’t dictate, he wouldn’t leave now. If Mickey needed to leave though, if Terry found out, Ian would follow him anywhere.

  It had been two weeks now, two weeks since Frank had walked in on them and Ian was just waiting, tense and jumpy. He expected Mickey to run through the door at any moment and grab him or, worse, for Terry to come through, raging and murderous, his son’s blood already staining his skin. In fact, that was a recurring nightmare of Ian’s.

  The first one came the night after Frank had caught them, the scumbag hadn’t turned back up to the Gallagher house but that only made Ian more fearful. He could have been out anywhere getting drunk, high and running his mouth. Lip had been watching him closely that night and Ian knew it was because he had been so uptight.

  It was also Lip that had shaken him awake when he had been crying in his sleep in the early hours of the morning. In his dream, Terry had come to the house dragging Mickey behind him, beaten and bloody, half dead. The man had finished him off in front of Ian, just the three of them there. Lip had woken him up just as he had been about run to his soulmate, just as the red of Mickey’s blood had faded to grey.

  Ian had cried quietly in his brother’s arms, painfully conscious of how thin the walls in this house were, painfully aware of Carl sleeping just across the room. Lip just held him; his arms tight around Ian as the redhead fisted his hands into the elder’s sleep shirt. He felt small and childish, he hadn’t been comforted from a nightmare since he was a lot younger, the guilt over waking up Lip mixed in with his fear and embarrassment to make an ugly concoction.

  Lip had looked at him questioningly after the tears had stopped and Ian had wanted to tell him, wanted to confide in his brother as he always did. But he just looked away. He couldn’t tell Lip about his plan to leave- he could practically taste the presence of the bag under his bed in that moment. Lip would try and stop him, try and reason with him or talk him out of it but Lip didn’t understand. He didn’t understand how terrified Ian was just at losing his world of colour even in a dream, how Mickey _was_ his colour.  

  “Just leave it alone Lip,” he had mumbled instead.

  The nightmare came again and again, by the time two weeks had passed Ian wasn’t faring too well. He was falling asleep through school, he had no appetite and had an ache in his chest from missing his soulmate. They had decided to ir on the side of caution and stay away from each other for the present until things were less fresh.

  In those two weeks, Frank had not turned back up but when he did, he came with Monica. The two of them were just there in the kitchen when they all came home from school or work, acting all lovey dovey as they always did. Debbie and Carl greeted their mother with joy, Lip and Fiona rolled their eyes, Liam wasn’t fussed and Ian just froze.

  “Ian baby!” Monica called out when she saw him.

  The woman held out her arms and Ian reluctantly walked into them, resolutely ignoring the man who was not quite his father. She held on tight and cooed before pulling back and holding his face in her hands, studying him. Ian squirmed slightly under the scrutiny but stayed, humouring her.

  “Baby, heard you had a lovely boyfriend. How are things with him?” she cooed and Ian immediately turned to glare at Frank.

  “You have a boyfriend Ian?” Debbie pipped up. Great.

  “Who is it Ian?” Fiona asked. Even better.

  “No one,” he mumbled, pulling away from his mother.

  “No one? Baby, Frankie told me it was the Milkovich boy. Mickey, he said. That’s something, to find a gay Milkovich,” the woman said and Ian would rather that the ground just swallow him up.  

  “Mickey Milkovich! Ian!” Fiona screeched.

  Great. Fucking great.

  “Lay off him Fiona,” Lip huffed. Thank God for him, Ian could never repay his brother for his support over Mickey and Mickey related trouble.

  “You knew about this? You Lip? How can I trust you if you’re both keeping things like this from me? You don’t get caught up in this shit Ian, this is dangerous, this is stupid! What could he possibly give you other than a good time and a death sentence from his father if you were ever found out?” Fiona yelled.

  Ian really just wanted to disappear.

  “Leave him alone Fiona,” Monica implored.

  “Yeah Fiona, love is love, can’t help it,” Frank added in.

  “Shut it, both of you. Ian doesn’t love him, he can’t,” Fiona practically growled.

  “I do actually Fiona,” Ian added then, he was sick of it, sick of everything. People always assumed the worst about Mickey, because of his last name and his old tendency not to shower. He was the mean fag-bashing thug that wasn’t capable of a kind thought in the eyes of many. But it was a façade, one that you didn’t have to look at too hard to break these days.

  “No Ian, no you don’t. You might think you do but you don’t, trust me,” Fiona said softly.

 “And how the fuck would you know? You have literally only just found out that we are a thing,” Ian snapped back. What the fuck was she thinking coming out with bullshit like that.

  “Are you though Ian? Are you a thing? You can’t be sure that he’s not just using you,” she said.

  “He’s not using me, I know with absolute certainty that he’s not,” Ian growled.

  “You can’t know that Ian,” she returned sounding more frustrated.

  “I can Fiona, I do know and I won’t have you telling me otherwise.”

  “How, how do you know Ian?”

  “Because he’s my soulmate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So unfortunately this work will not be continued, this is the end. 
> 
>  
> 
> Jk, I'd never do that to you guys.


	13. I Love You

  They- with the exception of Lip- had all stared at him in shock, Fiona almost in horror. It had been deathly quiet and then Frank had started to laugh, the sound making Ian jump before turning to glare at the man. The drunkard pointed a finger, figure shaking with his mirth.

  “That’s brilliant! That’s fucking brilliant! My son has a gay Milkovich for a soulmate, how brilliant is that?” the man chuckled.

  “Shut the fuck up Frank,” Lip snapped but the man just continued to chuckle nastily.

  “Well done baby, what do you think of colours?” Monica asked, Ian stared at her and couldn’t answer. Instead he looked to Fiona only to see her looking at him with pity.

  Taking a deep breath to try and calm himself, Ian turned and made his way to the door. His hands were shaking and he just needed to see Mickey. He heard Fiona and his mom call his name but no one came after him as he slammed the door and jogged down the steps, something that he was incredibly grateful for.

  The redhead had been so tense for such a long while and that back there had just been too much. He regretted his words now, wished that he had just agreed- as much as it would pain him- to Mickey being a stupid mistake. Now Frank and Monica both knew that Mickey was not only someone he was sleeping with but also his soulmate, more information that they could spread, making it even worse for Mickey.

  Mickey.

  He was going to kill him, the brunette had been so understanding, so good to Ian despite everything, despite how dangerous their relationship was but there was always a line and Ian was scared he had just crossed it. That was why he had to go to him and tell him before he found out some other way, he’d made his bed, he’d lie in it, take whatever Mickey gave.

  So he pulled out his phone and texted his soulmate, asking him to meet him, told him it was important. _mickey i’ve fucked up._

  The redhead continued to walk as he waited for a reply, staring down at his phone screen impatiently as seconds passed into minutes with no reply. Then, there it was. Three minutes after had had sent the message Mickey replied.

_you ok ian? meet at the building?_

_im fine just need to tell you. need to see you mick. sure meet at the building._

  Breathing out slowly, Ian put his phone back into his pocket and continued down the road. Subconsciously it seemed, Ian had already been making his way towards the building, was almost half way there already. He was half tempted to run the rest of the way there but knew that would rile him up more.

  Eventually though, he reached the abandoned plot with its overgrown nettles, broken, twisted, dead shrubbery. The empty shell of the building itself. In all, it was strange that two soulmates met here of all places, two individuals given the gift of colour meeting in a place that was all grey. It was dull and depressing but only when Mickey wasn’t there. It would light up, become their special place once the both of them were there together.

 Ian made his way up the steps, up and up until he reached their level. It was empty, Mickey wasn’t there yet, so Ian walked over to one of the pillars, slumping down against it. Finally sat down still, the panic came back full force. Head bent towards his knees, Ian wrapped his fingers into his hair, tugging on it in an attempt to ground himself, calm himself down before Mickey arrived.

  “Ian?” came his soulmate’s unmistakable voice.

  Too late, he was here. Taking a deep breath, incredibly thankful that at least his eyes were dry, Ian looked up at his soulmate. As soon as he made eye contact, Mickey started to move forward, he had a look of concern on his face and came down to crouch in front of Ian, placing his hands on the redhead’s knees.

  “What happened Ian?” Mickey asked. It was said softly in the way he did whenever they had an intimate moment. Ian wished he didn’t though, so close to tears as he was.

  “Frank and Monica turned up. Frank had told Monica about us, she spilled the beans to the family and then they were all horrified and everything, ranting at me and all that. Then… I just- it all you know… they just wouldn’t shut up. I um- Mickey… Mickey I told them,” Ian stumbled out, eyes begging Mickey.

  “What did you tell them Ian?” Mickey whispered, he looked scared.

  “That you’re my soulmate,” Ian whispered in return, looking down in shame.

  “Fuck,” the thug breathed, hands tightening on Ian’s knees before he pushed himself up and away.

  “Mickey I’m sorry,” Ian begged, standing up as well, watching as his soulmate paced.

  “Ian, no. Shit, I ain’t… it was gonna happen sooner or later I’m just… it’s gonna get back to my dad somehow. I know it. I’m… fuck it, I’m scared Ian. Okay, I’m just scared,” Mickey confessed.

  It broke Ian’s heart, his soulmate didn’t admit his fears, he had them, Ian knew he did, but he didn’t say it. This was serious, Ian knew Terry Milkovich- not admittedly like his soulmate did but he knew he reputation, his temper, his lack of love for his children and his complete hatred of gays. Terry would hurt Mickey, and Ian, without any remorse. He would hurt Mickey more _because_ he was his son.

  “We’ll be fine Mick. You know we will, we know what to do if that happens, we’ll be fine,” Ian reassured.

  “Yeah, yeah. I mean, are you sure you’d want to leave your family man?” Mickey asked. He had turned to Ian, stopped his pacing. He looked vulnerable; his beautiful blue eyes were begging Ian for comfort.

  “Mickey, you’re my soulmate. I love you Mick, I love you more than I thought it was possible to love anyone,” Ian said, emotion creating a tight ball in his throat.

  His words seemed to have even more of an effect on Mickey. His shoulders dropped and, to Ian’s horror, a sob escaped him. The redhead strode forward immediately and wrapped the smaller teen in his arms. Mickey’s arms came up around him straight away, Ian could feel his fists wrapped into the back of his shirt, clinging on for dear life. The spot on his neck where Mickey’s face was buried was slightly damp.

  “I love you too Ian, I really do.”


	14. No Regrets

  The two weeks following Ian’s blurted confession were some of the worst of his life- except maybe the weeks of suffering soul sickness. He was constantly on edge, even more than when Frank had walked in on them, a frame of being that wasn’t helped by his family. Fiona kept either glaring at him or watching him out of the corner of her eye while Debbie wouldn’t stop asking about colour and Carl wouldn’t stop asking about gay sex. His siblings alone normally would be enough to fray his nerves but the fear of Terry Milkovich finding out had him in a near constant state of nervous breakdown.

  Nightmares came every night, ones where he would wake in his bed and the world was grey again, he would run to the Milkovich to find Mickey’s dead and bloodied body. There were the dreams where Terry dragged a beaten and bloody Mickey to the Gallagher house just to make Ian watch him kill his soulmate. There were times that that happened and Fiona would be there, she would turn to him and hug him, tell him that it was all for the best, that Mickey would have just ruined his life otherwise. Those were the dreams he hated most.

  The lack of sleep made him unable to concentrate in school, his already low grades were beginning to suffer further. Extra homework and detentions were his life in the last two weeks, especially since Mickey had decided they best lay low. He missed his soulmate immensely but he wasn’t going to argue, he had seen the terror in Mickey’s eyes the last time that had been together and he had hated it.

  So, instead of being with Mickey, Ian was sat at the breakfast bar trying- and failing- to complete what seemed the millionth page of math homework. His family were thankfully out, Fiona working, Debbie and Carl at a friend’s house, Lip doing whatever Lip was doing and Frank and Monica off doing something he’d rather not contemplate. So Ian was alone in a quiet house for what felt like the first time in forever. It should be the perfect opportunity to concentrate on his homework but all he wanted to do is curl up in bed with Mickey and just sleep forever. It was very distracting.

  In fact, it had been a couple of minutes since he had completely given up when suddenly the front door slammed open and shut again. Ian jumped out of his skin, startled eyes turning towards the door imagining worst case scenario.

  Turns out, it wasn’t quite the worst of scenario but as his soulmate hobbled into the kitchen, right eye black and swollen, lip and nose bloody, tension through every line in his body. Ian knew instantly what had happened, knew that it was time to go, knew that his soulmate was hurting in multiple ways and it made him want to cry. Instead, he stumbled off of his stool and stepped shakily over to where the brunette had stopped, leaning on the door frame.

  “Mick?” Ian whispered, a tentative hand reaching out to touch the broken and swollen skin. He made sure that his touch was feather light so that the other didn’t so much as flinch away.

  “We have to go Ian,” Mickey said, croaked. It sounded like he had shouted himself hoarse.

  “Yes, yes, I’ll go get my stuff,” Ian replied, voice unsteady.

  The redhead couldn’t seem to be able to tear his eyes away from Mickey’s beaten face, his heart breaking more each second because he couldn’t help but feel like this was all his fault. It was his dad, his soul sickness that had pushed them to this point.

  Mickey’s hand reaching up and gripping the back of his neck pulled him out of his thoughts. The thug held him firm so that their eyes met, one of his swollen near shut, the other blue, shining with fear.

  “Need to go now Ian, if you’re still sure you want to come with,” Mickey said softly. He looked so unsure, looked like he truly doubted that Ian wouldn’t follow him to the ends of the earth.

  “Of course I’m still coming, I’ll just go get my stuff, it’s just upstairs, I’ll just be a moment,” Ian reassured him.

  He softly patted Mickey’s shoulder before he turned away, making his way up the stairs in a rush. Being his extremely clumsy self with overly large feet, he tripped on the last step, sending himself sprawling across the landing. Momentum had him carrying on in a half crawl before he managed to get his feet properly under him. Ian opened the door to his room and went straight to his bed, pulling the bag out from under it where he was stashed.

  Swinging the bag over his shoulder, Ian ran back down the stairs to see Mickey still leaning against the doorframe. His eyes were closed when he reached the bottom step but the brunette opened them as soon as he seemed to realise that Ian was back. The thug pushed off of the wall and Ian could see the exhaustion in him, shoulders slumped forward and feet dragging slightly as he made his way forward. 

  “Got a car parked out front,” he grunted, reaching out to grab Ian’s hand once he was close enough.

  Ian took the hand and squeezed it, walking with the other towards the door. He looked behind him briefly at his house, the one he had always known. Ian was leaving now, probably for good, but he didn’t feel nearly as sad about it as he thought he would. It was probably because of Mickey, because he knew that wherever they ended up they ended up their together. He’d just text Lip later to tell him, once they were far enough away that Ian wouldn’t have doubts, that he wouldn’t be able to be followed.

  They got outside onto the porch and made their way down the steps. It was slow going with Mickey in his state but Ian made sure to stay steady, to not rush him. When the finally got to the car, Mickey made to go around to the driver’s side door, only Ian’s hand grabbing his shoulder stopped him. Carefully, Ian steered his soulmate over to the passenger side door, opening and pushing him down into the seat. It was just a testament to how tired and worn down the older teen was that he had allowed it.

  Ian glanced down at Mickey, the other already relaxing against the chair, eyes falling shut. The redhead made his way around to the other side of the car, getting in and pulling away from the curb. One last time, he glanced back at his home before it fell from view. He looked back over at the passenger side where Mickey had already fallen asleep, head lolling slightly to the side and breath even. Ian knew that he would never regret this decision.


	15. The End

  “Ian, you need to stay safe I get that but you just disappeared!” Lip half yelled over the phone.

  He and Mickey had stopped for the night in a motel well outside of the city on some long lonely road. It was a shithole but it was cheap and only for one night besides, it wasn’t like neither of them weren’t used to living in squalor. The quality didn’t matter, the grungy bathroom, the thin, worn sheets and the peeling wall paper, it didn’t matter because on the bed Mickey lay sleeping. Terry Milkovich was no where near, he wasn’t about to bust through the door and beat on his son, Ian’s soulmate was safe.

  He had gone to the doorway to make the call to his brother, to let him know what was going on. Really, he knew he should have gone outside but he was loathe to leave his soulmate’s side, still shaken every time that he looked at Mickey’s bruised face. The older boy was exhausted, Ian had barely managed to get him from the car to the bed before he had collapsed back down into the covers and pillows, he wouldn’t wake up if Ian kept quiet.

  “I couldn’t say goodbye, I would never have left if I did and then Mickey would have gone off alone,” Ian explained quietly.

  “Ian… man, I know soulmates are the ones you’d do anything for, I kind of get it. God, gonna miss you, you stay good okay, I’ll always be there for you if you need,” his brother sighed.

  Ian felt a lump in his throat at the words, at the love and care. The Gallaghers had never had much in the way of food and money but when it came down to the six of them, they had never wanted for love and support.

  “I love you man,” he got out.

  “Love you too Ian, look after yourself now.”

  “Bye.”

  Lip hung up and Ian couldn’t help but slide down the wall. Mickey slept on in the bed across from him as he cried silently into his hands. He was going to miss his family so much, his heart ached with it.

**********

  As it turned out, Mickey had planned their new life out more than Ian had ever expected. He had already put a deposit down on a two bedroom apartment in Milwaukee. It wasn’t in a particularly good area of the city, in a way that Ian was glad for, he didn’t know how to be in one of those posh societies. The apartment itself was nice though, it was small but the heating worked, the shower worked, the kitchen had an oven and room on the counters for the coffee pot and microwave. There was no black mould and the windows fit their frame, the wallpaper- although hideous- wasn’t peeling away from the wall with damp.

  They moved in three days after leaving Chicago, stayed there to establish themselves a bit for the next two days and on the sixth day after leaving home Ian found that Mickey had found them both jobs also. It was construction work “nothing glamorous but it pays the bills” as Mickey had put it. The brunette had been so bashful when he had told Ian, cheeks reddening and unable to meet Ian’s eye but Ian had been over the moon.

  He couldn’t understand why Mickey was ashamed of everything that he had achieved and he’d told him as much, holding his chin and keeping eye contact. The bruising that had been afflicted by Terry was fading to a nasty yellow colour, the swelling gone down. Ian could look around the apartment, at Mickey standing in the middle of the already furnished lounge, and he could see their future.

  Ian could see himself growing old with Mickey, the apartment lasting them their twenties until they moved up through the working world to get better jobs with better pay. He could see himself marrying Mickey, of Mickey growing comfortable in his own skin, in being proud to introduce Ian to people as his soulmate. It was a beautiful thing and Ian couldn’t help but smile, hoped with all his heart that it would come to pass.

**********

  It had almost been a year. They hadn’t been back to Chicago since though Ian kept in touch with his family and with Mandy. Apparently Terry had gone on some mad, half alcohol, half rage driven rampage through the southside looking for the pair of them. Ian had feared for his family but Mandy and Lip both had assured him that not a Gallagher hair was touched.

  Those worries had long been laid to rest, Ian and Mickey had no fear in returning to their home city they were just enjoying their new lives here. Ian had been training the last six months to be an EMT while Mickey had started around the same time as a bartender, a job that he had taken to a lot quicker than construction.

  Ian’s current worry was Mandy. Three months ago she had fallen in with some man that Ian had never met and didn’t care to remember the name of. He had known by they way that she spoke of him that something was up with him, with them and it had taken him all the time up and till last week to get her to admit what was happening. The asswipe had been hitting her, Ian had got her to send him a photo of her face and she had looked much like Mickey had after Terry was done with him.

  He had shown the photo to Mickey who had flown into a protective older brother rage and together they had managed to convince her to leave him. Of course that didn’t go too well and in the end they had come up with the solution that she come and live with them.

  Mandy hadn’t found her soulmate, she saw the black and white world that they used to, she had had had a string of shitty boyfriends but she still hadn’t lost faith that one day she would find the one. Ian just desperately hoped that her soulmate wasn’t another abusive asshole, it happened, Terry and Mickey’s mom being prime examples.

  Currently, Ian was sat at the bus station waiting for the one that would bring Mandy in. They had done up the spare bedroom which had for the longest time sat empty collecting dust. They had painted it and furnished it, the whole house looking rather done up as little by little the two of them had put their savings into making the place the opposite of the shitholes that they had grown up in.

   It had been half hour, Ian a little early and the bus a little late, but finally it was there. A trail of people excited after the hiss of the doors opening, a whole flood until final there she was. Ian jumped up from his seat and Mandy beamed at him, rushing forward, arms full of luggage.

  They hugged for a long while, both overcome with joy at finally seeing each other again after so long. Once upon a time they had been inseparable, back before Ian’s soul sickness now it had been a year since they had last even seen each other.

*********

  Mandy loved their apartment, loved their life away from all of the shit of the past. She started working alongside Mickey at the bar, the apartment was filled with playful bickering between the two and laughter between the three. Before, it had been quiet contentment, a few little spats here and there. Mickey and Ian had lived quietly, cuddling in on the sofa and sniggering at whatever movie was on. Now the three of them laughed together, discussed things loudly and messed about. It was like they had been missing this little piece all along.

  Ian also didn’t think that he would have been able to get up the courage to do this either without Mandy to help him. She had been there to help him chose the ring, go over absurd and corny ways to go about it. In the end, after much laughter and a fair amount of nerves, Ian had picked out a plain band to use and that Mandy was going to go out for the evening while Ian proposed over a movie with some beer in hand.

  Mandy left that evening with Mickey screaming a reminder not to bring any man home, to be a slut elsewhere. The female Milkovich had flipped her brother off and then given Ian the thumbs up where Mickey couldn’t see. Ian knew that he would have been trying not to laugh if he hadn’t been so damn nervous about what was to come.

  He had planned to wait a bit, get into whatever shitty movie they were watching up until the point Mickey had decided enough was enough and climbed into Ian’s lap and started eating his face. Which is what happened every time they watched a movie with the apartment empty, really Ian didn’t know why they bothered even putting the damn things on anymore.

  Sitting down to something that Mickey had put on though, Ian knew he wasn’t going to last long. His soulmate was sat slumped into the redhead’s side, his feet kicked up on the table and one hand lacing fingers through Ian’s. He could acutely feel every spot that Mickey touched him, looking down and seeing the pale peach of his skin and the navy of his jeans, the green t-shirt and dark hair that was black but brown in certain lights. Every colour seemed more pronounced to him in that moment, all the colours that were given to him by his bond with Mickey.

  “You alright man?” Mickey mumbled, head shifting so that he was looking up at Ian, cheek pressed to the taller’s shoulder.

  “I- I um…” Ian stuttered, looking down at his soulmate.

  “Ian?” Mickey asked, pulling away from him to sit up straight.

  Well now it was then.

  Ian sat up straighter, fumbling to pull the ring from his back pocket. Finally, he pulled it out, pinching it between his forefinger and thumb to show to Mickey as he turned to face him.

  A range of emotions passed over the brunette’s face, first surprise then happiness and then a look of pure love sent Ian’s way. Finally, a playful smirk settled on Mickey’s face, one that made Ian smile in turn.

  “Will you marry me Mickey?” Ian asked.

  “Suppose so Gallagher,” he replied, right before he grabbed the back of Ian’s neck and pulled him into a fierce kiss.

**********

  The wedding was the best day of Ian’s life. They had it nearly two years after Ian had proposed, nearly five years after they first left Chicago. They had told Ian’s family and they had all insisted that they come back home to do it, Ian hadn’t been sure if he would be able to persuade Mickey to go with that but he had only had to ask once. It would seem that his soulmate was as homesick as he was.

  So they returned to Chicago a week before where Debbie had a daughter and so did Lip, Liam wasn’t a child anymore, a young man and Carl was no longer a little delinquent. There had been hugs all round, laughter and story sharing. It was like they had never left, it was like Mickey had always been part of the family. There had been about an hour of awkwardness but all his siblings had made such an effort and soon they were all friends.

  The wedding itself was small but amazing. They had it in the Alibi, both Ian and Mickey in their best jeans and shirts with ties. It was informal and full of family and just absolutely perfect. Mandy cried and Debbie cries, Fiona and Vee cried and so did Ian. Mickey only just held off.

  They went back home two weeks later, all three agreeing that it just wasn’t right so within the month they had moved themselves back to Chicago. A year later Mandy met a bouncer at the bar Mickey and she worked at, he was his soulmate, one of those men that was huge and shaven head but was just soft on the inside. She got to experience their world of colours finally, every one of their family following suit one at a time.

  Like everyone they had their ups and downs but in the end everything was perfect.


End file.
